So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. Hebrews 10:35-37

My favorite book during this time has been Grace for Tough Times by Mary J Nelson. It seems like almost every chapter resonates with my spirit.

Recently, she said that God won't leave you in suffering longer than necessary. He knows the best time to reach into the fire and change your circumstances. This was confirmation of what I've been feeling. Certainly God knows where I am. Certainly God is in control and can change my circumstances at any time.

I don't understand His timing, but yet know that in the midst of my circumstances my focus must be to continue seeking Him and in keeping my eyes on what He wants me to learn through this process. I figure I must have LOTS of things He wants to change in me:)

You know it doesn't matter if you can do what needs to be done and be who you need to be if it's not what God is calling you to be. I'm still trying to figure out who and what He wants me to be. Not that I haven't always been happy where He has me ... but I've got to believe He's got more because I can think of no other reason to be through this "refinement".

I've been getting really stir crazy this week wanting to do something besides sit in a reclinder, read, play on the computer, take naps and watch TV. It's amazing how many movies play over and over over a six month period. I've pretty much caught up on any movie that I've ever not seen. Normally, I don't sit in a recliner, read, play on the computer, take naps or watch TV, so this is a a new world.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning and am hoping I will get some more information on the next steps. I have some sores in my mouth and digestive tract from the chemo, so please pray that this discomfort goes away -- and continue to pray for my appetite and a more normal sleep schedule. Also please pray for safety as John travels this week.