Had a talk with the surgeon before surgery today. After he conferred with another doctor the decision was made to slow down a bit. Instead of getting into the middle of surgery, doing a biopsy, getting results of biopsy before determining how to proceed, the surgeon decided to only do a biopsy today and take the time to be sure everything is done without rush.
Praise the Lord there is no other cancer anywhere else.
Next Friday we will meet with the doctor and know exactly how the doctors will be proceeding. Surgery is now scheduled for Monday, February 11th.
Tana is at home; a little tired
We are pleased with decision to delay things a bit. Believe the Lord is taking care of all things.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Last night, fifteen or so folks from our Life Group and church staff came for prayer at our home. It was a sweet time together - here is one note from someone who attended:
I had directions with me to get to your house, but driving in the dark, especially when it’s an unfamiliar route, can often be stressful for me. Throughout the trip, I kept thinking of things that could go wrong. I was anxious when adding the distance on Hwy 380 to my odometer, afraid I would miscalculate, afraid that the directions I had might be inaccurate, or maybe I had mistyped the address when I did the address search. I had been to your house a number of times, but never paid attention to how we got there. Throughout the trip there, I had this nagging feeling that I would get lost, make a wrong turn and be late. My directions were accurate, though, and I made it to your house just fine.
On my way home I was better, but still making sure I was very attentive to my mileage and the road signs. About 10 minutes into my drive home, however, I looked up and noticed something on my inside windshield. It was the GPS navigation unit I got my husband for Christmas. We had moved it to my car when we traveled to Illinois for Christmas and had never moved it back to his car. All this time I was calculating, worrying and thinking I had to figure everything out on my own. Immediately, I felt God telling me, “That’s how you live your life, too. You’re always so busy and stressed trying to navigate, when I’m right here wanting to do it for you. All you to do is listen and follow my leading and directions.”
That spoke clearly to me. I am busy trying to figure out life as it revolves around the surgery and my recuperation (surprise, surprise). All God really wants me to do is "listen and following Him".
They called today and moved the surgery up to 10:45 am in the morning - we'll have to be there at 8:45. The surgery will be at the Jonsson building. I am feeling a little more anxious today as the surgery gets closer, but have an incredible peace. John will update the blog until I am able to again:)
I had directions with me to get to your house, but driving in the dark, especially when it’s an unfamiliar route, can often be stressful for me. Throughout the trip, I kept thinking of things that could go wrong. I was anxious when adding the distance on Hwy 380 to my odometer, afraid I would miscalculate, afraid that the directions I had might be inaccurate, or maybe I had mistyped the address when I did the address search. I had been to your house a number of times, but never paid attention to how we got there. Throughout the trip there, I had this nagging feeling that I would get lost, make a wrong turn and be late. My directions were accurate, though, and I made it to your house just fine.
On my way home I was better, but still making sure I was very attentive to my mileage and the road signs. About 10 minutes into my drive home, however, I looked up and noticed something on my inside windshield. It was the GPS navigation unit I got my husband for Christmas. We had moved it to my car when we traveled to Illinois for Christmas and had never moved it back to his car. All this time I was calculating, worrying and thinking I had to figure everything out on my own. Immediately, I felt God telling me, “That’s how you live your life, too. You’re always so busy and stressed trying to navigate, when I’m right here wanting to do it for you. All you to do is listen and follow my leading and directions.”
That spoke clearly to me. I am busy trying to figure out life as it revolves around the surgery and my recuperation (surprise, surprise). All God really wants me to do is "listen and following Him".
They called today and moved the surgery up to 10:45 am in the morning - we'll have to be there at 8:45. The surgery will be at the Jonsson building. I am feeling a little more anxious today as the surgery gets closer, but have an incredible peace. John will update the blog until I am able to again:)
But now, O Israel, the Lord who created you says: "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you."
Isaiah 43:1-2
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
What lies behind us and
what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to
what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
At the end of November, we had a one-day staff retreat. For me, it was a great time of learning, friendship, spades and food....what else is there? At the conclusion of the day, we met in a little chapel and had a time of worship and prayer. As we were wrapping up our time together, God quickened my spirit to Psalm 23 and He moved my heart in a special way. As I read it, God opened the verses to me like He had never done before. I honestly believe it was God preparing my spirit for what was ahead of me.
The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil for You are with me
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You anoint my head with oil
My cup overflows
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever
I am feeling stronger today. I've had less pain and no headaches today (thank you for praying!) I am ready for Thursday to get here. God has protected me in many ways over the last few days (emotionally, spiritually and physically). I believe your love and support has lightened my load.
what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to
what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
At the end of November, we had a one-day staff retreat. For me, it was a great time of learning, friendship, spades and food....what else is there? At the conclusion of the day, we met in a little chapel and had a time of worship and prayer. As we were wrapping up our time together, God quickened my spirit to Psalm 23 and He moved my heart in a special way. As I read it, God opened the verses to me like He had never done before. I honestly believe it was God preparing my spirit for what was ahead of me.
The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil for You are with me
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You anoint my head with oil
My cup overflows
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever
I am feeling stronger today. I've had less pain and no headaches today (thank you for praying!) I am ready for Thursday to get here. God has protected me in many ways over the last few days (emotionally, spiritually and physically). I believe your love and support has lightened my load.
Monday, January 28, 2008
What a day! I'm exhausted but have jumped through all the hoops for now. I have a couple of days to rest before the surgery. Most of my tests came back good - I am dehydrated and am running a slight fever so you can pray that those are a result of the tumor and not viral! They are trying to move my surgery to earlier in the day Thursday - are now saying I could be there up to a week (don't they know I have people to see and things to do?!)
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your emails, calls and encouragement. I am truly blessed with Godly friends and family. I am overwhelmed by your support and love. I don't know that I've every felt more loved and appreciated by doing absolutely nothing! I've received much praise in my life for what I can do. I think I have often confused praise with love. For you to love me when I have absolutely nothing to offer you is so freeing for me. Thank you...and so it is with God...we have absolutely nothing to offer Him, yet He gives all for us.
Surrender ... that is where I am today ... total and complete loss of myself to His will and His purpose. I thought I was already there, but yet I go deeper still.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your emails, calls and encouragement. I am truly blessed with Godly friends and family. I am overwhelmed by your support and love. I don't know that I've every felt more loved and appreciated by doing absolutely nothing! I've received much praise in my life for what I can do. I think I have often confused praise with love. For you to love me when I have absolutely nothing to offer you is so freeing for me. Thank you...and so it is with God...we have absolutely nothing to offer Him, yet He gives all for us.
Surrender ... that is where I am today ... total and complete loss of myself to His will and His purpose. I thought I was already there, but yet I go deeper still.
Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee
Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose
Take my will and make it Thine, it shall be no longer mine
Take my heart, it is Thine own, it shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee
Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee
Here am I - All of me - Take my life - It's all for Thee
Sunday, January 27, 2008
As I was lying on the table this morning getting my fourth radionuclide study, second IV (not to mention the attempts it took to get a successful IV) and third vial of blood in three days, I thought "BOY am I under examination!"
Because I've never been sick or in the hospital in my life, this is all new territory to me. I feel like a science experiment. I feel like I'm under the microscope. I feel like nothing in me could possibly be hidden from the eye of the doctors (and this is just the beginning!)
I thought of how unfair my circumstance is...how no one should be under this kind of scrutiny...that I should be able to control how and when people look inside (and outside!) of me. These people don't know me, they don't love me and they certainly have little concern for me beyond doing their job and finding their answers.
Alas, it hit me. How good it is to serve a God that has vision that goes BEYOND our circumstances and into the deep crevices of our soul where absolutely no one else can go. Only He knows our past, present and future - only He numbers our days even before we are born - only He knows all the answers and all the solutions. Only He can meet every need that we have.
Tomorrow is a new day and He has already gone before me. That is enough for today.
My friend Julie from Wichita Falls visited yesterday afternoon. Some of you know that she is a recent breast cancer survivor. She brought the books that helped her most in her journey (with her personal notes written on the pages.) One of the scriptures she wrote speaks to my heart today:
Because I've never been sick or in the hospital in my life, this is all new territory to me. I feel like a science experiment. I feel like I'm under the microscope. I feel like nothing in me could possibly be hidden from the eye of the doctors (and this is just the beginning!)
I thought of how unfair my circumstance is...how no one should be under this kind of scrutiny...that I should be able to control how and when people look inside (and outside!) of me. These people don't know me, they don't love me and they certainly have little concern for me beyond doing their job and finding their answers.
Alas, it hit me. How good it is to serve a God that has vision that goes BEYOND our circumstances and into the deep crevices of our soul where absolutely no one else can go. Only He knows our past, present and future - only He numbers our days even before we are born - only He knows all the answers and all the solutions. Only He can meet every need that we have.
Tomorrow is a new day and He has already gone before me. That is enough for today.
My friend Julie from Wichita Falls visited yesterday afternoon. Some of you know that she is a recent breast cancer survivor. She brought the books that helped her most in her journey (with her personal notes written on the pages.) One of the scriptures she wrote speaks to my heart today:
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!
For my soul trusts in You.
And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge,
until these calamities pass me by.
Psalm 57:1
Hoping you'll join the prayer camp. I just returned from the doctor and found out that I have a malignant cartilage tumor just above my right hip joint.
Short history - have been feeling weak in that joint for a little while but woke up New Year's Day unable to walk normally because of a pain in the right hip. I finally went to the doctor on Monday and he sent me immediately for blood work, CT and MRI of the hip.
I went to a second specialist this morning at Baylor and he says it is a malignant chondrosarcoma. I go to Baylor Sunday for total body scans, etc to verify that it hasn't spread elsewhere (though thankfully he doesn't think it has!)
Monday I do preop at Baylor and then will have surgery on Thursday afternoon at 1:00 pm. They will do pathology during surgery and will determine the grade of the tumor. If it is aggressive, they will do hip replacement and if it is not aggressive, they will try to clean the bone out and/or replace part of the hip bone.
Please pray on Sunday that the tests confirm that the cancer has not spread. Please pray on Thursday that it is not aggressive. On a side note, he has put me on crutches because he fears that the bone might break if it has too much pressure on it so you can pray that I will comply with doctor's orders and that it will not break before surgery on Thursday:)
I'll keep you posted. I will probably be in surgery three hours on Thursday. I will probably be in the hospital at least a couple of days. Recup for clean out will be around a month - recup for hip replacement will be about three months.
I love you bunches - thanks my friends. God is good all the time. I'll continue to post as I have updates so you can check back (and certainly leave comments at your discretion!)
Short history - have been feeling weak in that joint for a little while but woke up New Year's Day unable to walk normally because of a pain in the right hip. I finally went to the doctor on Monday and he sent me immediately for blood work, CT and MRI of the hip.
I went to a second specialist this morning at Baylor and he says it is a malignant chondrosarcoma. I go to Baylor Sunday for total body scans, etc to verify that it hasn't spread elsewhere (though thankfully he doesn't think it has!)
Monday I do preop at Baylor and then will have surgery on Thursday afternoon at 1:00 pm. They will do pathology during surgery and will determine the grade of the tumor. If it is aggressive, they will do hip replacement and if it is not aggressive, they will try to clean the bone out and/or replace part of the hip bone.
Please pray on Sunday that the tests confirm that the cancer has not spread. Please pray on Thursday that it is not aggressive. On a side note, he has put me on crutches because he fears that the bone might break if it has too much pressure on it so you can pray that I will comply with doctor's orders and that it will not break before surgery on Thursday:)
I'll keep you posted. I will probably be in surgery three hours on Thursday. I will probably be in the hospital at least a couple of days. Recup for clean out will be around a month - recup for hip replacement will be about three months.
I love you bunches - thanks my friends. God is good all the time. I'll continue to post as I have updates so you can check back (and certainly leave comments at your discretion!)
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