Because I've never been sick or in the hospital in my life, this is all new territory to me. I feel like a science experiment. I feel like I'm under the microscope. I feel like nothing in me could possibly be hidden from the eye of the doctors (and this is just the beginning!)
I thought of how unfair my circumstance is...how no one should be under this kind of scrutiny...that I should be able to control how and when people look inside (and outside!) of me. These people don't know me, they don't love me and they certainly have little concern for me beyond doing their job and finding their answers.
Alas, it hit me. How good it is to serve a God that has vision that goes BEYOND our circumstances and into the deep crevices of our soul where absolutely no one else can go. Only He knows our past, present and future - only He numbers our days even before we are born - only He knows all the answers and all the solutions. Only He can meet every need that we have.
Tomorrow is a new day and He has already gone before me. That is enough for today.
My friend Julie from Wichita Falls visited yesterday afternoon. Some of you know that she is a recent breast cancer survivor. She brought the books that helped her most in her journey (with her personal notes written on the pages.) One of the scriptures she wrote speaks to my heart today:
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me!
For my soul trusts in You.
And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge,
until these calamities pass me by.
Psalm 57:1
7 comments:
Oh, dear Tana! I was sitting with my Bible open to Psalm 57:1 praying for you when I checked to see if you had left an update. Turn the page of your Bible to read Psalm 61:1-5 to give thanks for the heritage of faith that will sustain you through this battle. I love you, dear friend!
Julie
Tana, you are in our constant prayers through Hillsboro Oregon Mosaic Church and Lighthouse Intercessors worldwide. Be up lifted he will sustain you and bring healing to you.
91st Psalm
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most
High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee
from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings
shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for
the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that
walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth
at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy
right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of
the wicked.
Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the
most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague
come nigh thy dwelling.
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep
thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy
foot against a stone.
Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and
the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver
him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with
him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
Blessings always,
Mary A.
Tana,
We are all praying for you. Thank you for sharing your life with us during this difficult time. The Lord is glorified through your insights of Him during this storm. May He continue to give you spiritual and physical healing as you honor Him with your words and with your life. We love you.
Scott
Tana, I don't know if you will remember me or my family from Wichita Falls. Steven and Marsha Junkins (and crew). I had the unique privilege of praying for you the other day. I drove by the street you used to live on (Chelsea) and one of my girls said "Mom, didn't we used to know someone that lived on that street?" I said "Yes, John and Tana Heckel used to live there. I can't believe you remember that." I vividly recall hearing God whisper "pray for Tana." I thought..."OK Lord but why?" I feel like He replied "just pray." Each time I pass by your old street since that day about three weeks ago...I pray for you. I understand a little better why now and am so grateful that I listened and obeyed. Tana...know that you are loved and sustained by the Creator of the heavens and the earth. He and He alone knows you, better than any physician. Trust Him. Please keep us updated as you start this new chapter in your life and let us know how we can specifically lift you up.
Tana, I am so happy to hear that You are holding on to your faith and the one that will meet all of your needs. Please know that we know you, love you, have great concern for you, and that we have you covered in prayer. May you continue to stay strong in the shadow of His wings knowing that you are held securely in His hands. We love you, Bonnie
Psalm 63:6-8
I lie awake thinking of You, meditating on You through the night.
I think how much You have helped me; I sing for joy in the shadow of Your protecting wings.
I follow close behind You; Your strong right hand holds me securely.
Tana,
I do not know you but a friend, Diana Stasey send me an email about you. As busy as I am, I have seven theraputic foster children, God lead me to email you.
Please know that I and my seven children will be praying for you. The scriptures that God brings to me is Mark 11:22-23. I am quoting from my children's bible.
"Have faith in God," Jesus said. "What I am about to tell you is true. Suppose one of you says to this mountain, "Go and throw yourself into the sea." You must not doubt in your heart. You must believe that what you say will happen. Then it will be done for you.
Therefore, our prayer is claiming and thanking God that you will fully recover from this challenge and it too will past.
You are a sister in Christ and we love you. Be encouraged.
Dianna Nelson and children
Hi Tana, I learned on Sunday of your cancer and wanted to encourage you as a recent cancer survivor myself. My personal journey through this trial only served to bring me closer to the Father and I'm sure from reading your blog it will do likewise for you. The knowledge of His endless love and the prayers of others sustains us in these seasons of tribulation. While the road that lies ahead may the the toughest you have yet to walk you're not walking it alone. Jesus will be there each step of the way for you to lean on and our prayer will be with you as well. In His Great Love, Brian & Debbie C.
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